What Elles Did Next...

Why is it so hard to talk about yourself? It's like sometimes we feel embarrassed to admit what we are actually like and what are interests are. Why do we feel like that? It's such a strange feeling. I have no idea why I thought writing this blog post would so easy to write, because as I've just explained, it's bloody difficult to talk about myself! BUT! I'm going to give it a go. A challenge for me, and for you reading, an insight into who I am and what I'm like...

1. I can be really indecisive when it comes to making group decisions. "What do you want to do?" My classic response is "I'm not fussy AT ALL, I'll do whatever you guys decide to do"...I just can't help myself.

2. I have a real passion for all things creative. I truly believe that I was meant to be working in a creative industry. I'm crap with numbers, I hate sitting in an office all day doing administrative tasks and just hope that one day I'll have a career that I can enjoy.

3. I'm obsessed with both documentaries and reality TV. Documentaries about crime & conspiracy theories fascinate me, but on the flip side I love reality TV like Love Island and Made in Chelsea. I enjoy TV that is different from what I consider "the norm" as I love to see how other people live their lives. 

4. I love to visit new places. I would hate to stay in one place my whole life knowing the world is so big, why would you want to not explore it?!

5. I'm very independent. I like doing things for myself. I think it's important for a woman to be able to say "Yeah, I can do this, I don't need someone by my side telling me how to do this." #IndependentWomenSayWhaaaaat

6. I can be really goofy and get carried away with a joke. In my friendship group I would be classed as the "funny one". I'm happy go lucky and love making people laugh, but I'll be the first to admit I sometimes take the joke too far...oops.

7. Autumn/Fall is my favourite season of the year. I love blue skies and cold mornings. I love the colour change of the leaves and how they fall off the trees. Some of my earliest memories are of me in a massive puffer jacket running through crisp leaves, collecting conkers in the park, how cute haha!

8. I care about what people think, but only to a certain extent. I don't care if people don't like the clothes that I wear or don't like my general appearance. But I do care if people have an opinion on me as a person. I care about first impressions so I don't like to disappoint.

9. I love shopping by myself. As much as I do enjoy shopping with my friends, sometimes if I'm not in the mood I just prefer to wake up early, head out, spend all my money in ZARA and call it a day.

10. As much as I've always said I want to move out of London, I think I'll always call it home. I love London and maybe having my own place here will be what I need...even though I probably won't be able to afford it...(cries).

Love Elle 

x

Late last year I decided I wanted to take a trip to LA when I turned 21. Until about 5 months ago I assumed that trip would last a maximum of 2 weeks and that I would have beg some of my friends to come with me.

Source: Pinterest

I finally found the courage to press send...weeks of internal debate, weighing up the pros and cons. I have just handed in my resignation. No future job in place, no source of steady income, yet I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

This is going to sound really strange, but I was leaving V Festival two weekends ago and passed the stage Kaiser Chiefs were performing on. Ricky, the lead singer, was in the middle of a speech and said "If you're not happy, GET HAPPY!" It's almost as if that statement validated my decision to just get out of my funk I've been in for the past 6 months....It sounds so silly, of course you can't just trick your brain into "being happy", but you certainly can take small steps to happiness.

I've decided to pursue a career, start from the bottom and work my way up. The job I was doing was convenient at the time, it gave me the freedom to go places, experience the world and what it has to offer. I would go on mini trips and return to a dead end. Quite honestly, it was depressing coming back to work and living in the "real world"...Then I thought, "fuck it!". I'm twenty, why the hell am I settling for this?! I want to travel, I want a career, I want to LIVE! I don't want to be having "serious" meetings about Stationery usage...yes, really...

So that's what I've decided to do. Not everyone around me is supportive of this decision and I understand that, but if I carried on doing that same crap job I'm pretty convinced I was one breakdown away to a complete melt down! 

This change in my life seems perfectly timed. Summer is over, (did it really begin?), Autumn is approaching which is the epitome of new beginnings. I feel happiest in the autumnal months, in the words of Fitzgerald: "Life starts all over when the leaves get crisp in the fall..."

I feel optimistic, if all fails I'll know that my decision felt right at the time and that it's only up from here.

Elle x

I've always found that talking about yourself is one of the hardest things to do. I always feel really under pressure when someone asks me something like, "so what kind of music are you into?", I freeze, I over think it and generally say "Oh I like all types of music", in hope they will take that as a respectable answer...It sounds so stupid and I annoy myself when I say things like this because in reality its such a simple question. "I'm really into Rihanna at the minute", "Oh really, that's cool, I like that song she has out with Drake". That's how the conversation should have gone, but me being the over-thinker I am, failed to keep that boat a float...